The Female Friend Gap: 60% of Single Young Men Say They Have No Female Friends
In a new Cherry Data Signals survey, many young single men say the modern dating crisis may begin long before a first date — with a lack of ordinary, platonic friendships with women.
At Cherry Data Signals, we wanted to explore whether the modern dating crisis starts long before a first date, a dating-app match, or a rejected message.
So we surveyed 7,014 single men in the U.S. aged 18 to 35 about their friendships, dating habits, confidence, use of dating apps, and social lives.
The results suggest that for many young men, the issue may be more basic than dating itself: a lack of everyday, platonic friendships with women.
Our survey found that 60% of single men aged 18 to 35 say they have no female friends. It also found that 73% of single men who are not currently using dating apps say they have simply given up trying to find a romantic partner.
of single young men aged 18 to 35 say they have no female friends.
of single men not on dating apps say they have given up trying to find a romantic partner.
Not Just a Dating Problem
We often talk about young men's dating struggles through the lens of apps, rejection, confidence, or changing gender expectations. But our findings suggest the problem may begin earlier, with a lack of ordinary, trusted friendships with women.
Without those everyday platonic relationships, dating can become more intimidating, more transactional, and more emotionally loaded. Some respondents said they rarely meet women naturally in daily life. Others described social worlds built around gaming, online communities, or male-only friendship groups. Some said friendships with women felt complicated because they worried about developing feelings, misreading signals, or making things awkward.
Why Some Men Say They Have No Female Friends
When we asked men with no female friends to identify the main reasons why, a handful of themes came up again and again.
Lack of opportunity
Many said they rarely meet women naturally in everyday life.
Online-heavy social lives
Gaming, streaming, and online communities take up much of their free time.
Male-only social circles
Their friendships are mostly, or entirely, with other men.
Fear of mixed signals
Worry about attraction, awkwardness, or misreading friendliness.
Dating fatigue
Negative dating experiences have made some men withdraw.
Lack of confidence
Some feel awkward speaking to women socially.
No active interest
Some are not currently seeking female friendships at all.
of men with no female friends say they rarely meet women naturally in everyday life.
say their social lives are mostly based around gaming, online spaces, or male friendship groups.
say friendships with women feel complicated because of attraction, mixed signals, or awkwardness.
of men with no female friends say they would like to have at least one.
The Men Who Have Stopped Trying
One of the clearest signs of romantic disengagement came from men who are not currently using dating apps. Among that group, 73% said they have given up trying to find a romantic partner.
That suggests avoiding apps is not always a sign that men are confidently meeting people offline. For many, it may point to something more worrying: romantic resignation.
Dating apps were also a major theme in our survey. Of those who had used dating apps in the past year, 52% said the experience made them feel more discouraged about dating, while 37% said it made them feel more cynical or resentful about relationships.
Among men who are not currently on dating apps, 48% said they would not know where to meet women in real life, and 36% said they feel nervous approaching women offline because they do not want to seem creepy or intrusive.
of dating app users say apps have made them feel more discouraged about dating.
say dating apps have made them more cynical or resentful about relationships.
of men not on dating apps say they would not know where to meet women offline.
say they feel nervous approaching women offline because they do not want to seem creepy or intrusive.
The Missing Bridge Between Friendship and Dating
One of the more revealing findings is that many men appear to recognize the value of female friendships, even if they do not currently have them.
Our survey found that 58% said men with close female friends are probably better at understanding women, while 46% said having female friends would make dating feel less intimidating. At the same time, 39% admitted they would find it difficult to maintain a close friendship with a woman they were attracted to, and 33% said they have previously mistaken friendliness from a woman for romantic interest.
That tension sits at the heart of the "female friend gap." Many young men seem to understand that platonic friendships with women could help them build confidence, perspective, and healthier communication. But for a sizeable share, those friendships still feel hard to form, hard to maintain, or difficult to separate from dating.
say men with close female friends are probably better at understanding women.
say having female friends would make dating feel less intimidating.
say they would find it difficult to maintain a close friendship with a woman they were attracted to.
say they have mistaken friendliness from a woman for romantic interest.
Where the Female Friend Gap May Be Widest
We applied our survey findings to Census age-and-sex population data to estimate where the "female friend gap" may be most pronounced among young single men.
Click on any state to see the estimated number of single men aged 18–35 with no female friends.
These figures should be treated as indicative estimates rather than exact population measurements.
Selected state
Wyoming
Estimated single men aged 18–35 with no female friends
- % with no female friends
- 73%
- Men aged 18–35
- 70,362
- Est. single men 18–35*
- 44,328
The highest estimated percentages appear in more rural states, including Wyoming, West Virginia, South Dakota, Mississippi, and North Dakota. Larger states such as California, Texas, Florida, and New York show the biggest estimated totals because of their larger populations.
*The 63% figure refers to the share of men under 30 in the U.S. who are single, according to Pew Research Center. "Single" is defined as not married, not living with a partner, and not in a committed romantic relationship. Because this survey focuses on men aged 18–35, the figure has been applied as an indicative benchmark rather than an exact age-matched rate.
Figures are extrapolated estimates based on U.S. Census Bureau ACS Sex by Age data for men aged 18–35, Pew's 63% single-men benchmark, and Cherry Data Signals' state-level survey percentages. They should be interpreted as indicative estimates rather than exact population counts.
Key Findings
- 60% of single men aged 18 to 35 say they have no female friends.
- 73% of single men not on dating apps say they have given up trying to find a romantic partner.
- 34% of men with no female friends say they rarely meet women naturally in everyday life.
- 22% say their social lives are mostly based around gaming, online spaces, or male friendship groups.
- 18% say friendships with women feel complicated because of attraction, mixed signals, or awkwardness.
- 44% of men with no female friends say they would like to have at least one.
- 52% of dating app users say apps have made them feel more discouraged about dating.
- 37% say dating apps have made them more cynical or resentful about relationships.
- 48% of men not on dating apps say they would not know where to meet women offline.
- 33% admit they have mistaken friendliness from a woman for romantic interest.
Methodology
Cherry Data Signals conducted a nationally distributed online survey of 7,014 single men in the United States aged 18 to 35. Respondents were asked about their current friendship circles, whether they have female friends, their experiences with dating apps, their confidence in meeting potential romantic partners, and the extent to which online communities, gaming, social media, or male-only friendship groups shape their social lives.
For the purposes of the survey, respondents were asked to interpret a "female friend" as a woman they are not dating, not related to, and not actively trying to date, but who they would consider part of their social life in a genuine platonic sense. Follow-up questions explored whether respondents had close female friends, female acquaintances, or no female friendships at all, as well as the reasons some men felt those friendships were absent from their lives.
Respondents who said they had no female friends were asked to identify the main reasons why, including lack of opportunity, discomfort or awkwardness, preference for male-only social spaces, time spent gaming or in online communities, dating fatigue, lack of confidence, and uncertainty around whether friendships with women could remain purely platonic.
The survey also asked respondents about their current dating behavior, including whether they use dating apps, whether they are actively trying to find a romantic partner, and whether past dating experiences had made them feel more discouraged, cynical, or resigned about relationships. Percentages relating to dating-app use, romantic disengagement, online social habits, and attitudes toward female friendships were calculated using the total number of valid responses for each relevant question.
We applied standard data-cleaning procedures prior to analysis, including the removal of incomplete submissions, duplicate responses, inconsistent answers, and responses that failed basic quality-control checks. Responses were also reviewed for speeding, straight-lining, and contradictory answer patterns to ensure the final dataset reflected genuine respondent engagement.
Final figures were rounded to the nearest whole number for publication. The findings should be interpreted as indicative survey estimates of attitudes and experiences among single U.S. men aged 18 to 35, rather than exact population measurements.
About Cherry Data Signals
Cherry Data Signals creates fast, survey-led data stories for brands, agencies, and media campaigns. We help turn public opinion into original, newsworthy insights that can support PR, content, and digital campaigns.
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